


Deep and Meaningful

by Miss_Romance_Lover



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, M/M, Robron Secret Santa 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-30 02:38:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17215448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Romance_Lover/pseuds/Miss_Romance_Lover
Summary: A series of conversations shared between Aaron & Robert over the course of 2018, set in canon.*Written for the Robron Secret Santa project on tumblr*





	Deep and Meaningful

February

Aaron noticed that Robert was looking rather harassed by the time he joined him at the pub. "I'm so sorry. Seb was crying and Rebecca didn't seem to realise, and then she kept repeating herself, so. I'm sorry I've been so long."

"It's fine, sit down and I'll get you a pint. Is Seb alright now?"

Robert nodded. "He was settled by the time I left."

By the time he was halfway through his first drink, Aaron was pleased to note, Robert looked a lot more relaxed. "I'll make it up to you, okay?" he was saying. "We'll have a proper date night and I'll take you out for dinner."

"Well I won't say no to that. But there's nothing to make up for; I know it'll take time to get a new routine sorted."

With a smile, Robert let the subject go at that, but Aaron had already decided he was going to reassure him further later.

That moment came a few hours later when they were walking home from the pub. Just a few nights before, they had made the walk from Vic's place to the Mill, hand in hand. Aaron took Robert's hand in his again now, linking their fingers together. 

"You know this is it now, don't you?" Aaron started. Robert looked at him curiously, so he continued. "Me and you, forever. I'm not going to change my mind or have a go at you for being late, for things that are out of your control. It's going to be different this time. Although I can't promise never to have a go!"

Robert let out a laugh at that, then squeezed Aaron's hand. "Forever."

*

March

Seb was finally asleep, and the house was settling down for the night. Aaron had had a panicked call from Chas an hour before; telling him Lisa had collapsed and been rushed to hospital. He was worried, but both Robert and his mum had persuaded him there was no point him rushing down there now. There were enough Dingles taking up space in the corridors at Hotten General, and they were only waiting for news the same as he would be.

"You okay?" Robert asked, voice soft and concerned as he got into bed beside Aaron. 

"Just want to know what happened. Did she have another angina attack?"

"I'm sure Lisa's being looked after. They'll find out what's going on and get her the right treatment. I know it's hard but try not to worry, eh?"

Aaron didn't reply, which Robert took as a hint to stop talking. At least on this subject. So he changed it himself. "Thank you for today."

That got an answer. "I didn't do anything," he said, sitting up in the bed. 

"You did, Aaron. These past few days have been hard, but you made it easier. I just didn't know what to do. I wouldn't have asked you to take Seb on full time with me; same as I didn't want to ask Rebecca to give him up. And then you said...what you said, about there being room for him here and I just...I don't know what to say. Except, I love you."

Aaron ran a hand up and down Robert's arm, stroking lightly. "Were you scared of asking me if we could have Seb living with us?"

"Not scared. But I was worried what Rebecca's behaviour was coming to, and I couldn't think what our other options were. I told you I was never going to force Seb on you and I meant it, so the thought of asking you? I didn't want you feeling like you had to say yes."

"I want him here, Robert, okay? He's your little boy, and I need to get to know him more. It's awful, what Rebecca's going through right now, but Seb has to come first and she knew that as much as we did. And I promise I'll be there for him too."

Robert gently eased Aaron down on the bed, so he was laying flat again. All the while he was kissing him soundly. "He's already lucky to have you. And so am I."

* 

June

The pizza was forgotten in the end, as Aaron and Robert made the most of an empty house while Liv was out and Seb was still with Diane. Later, while Aaron was packing for the following day's holiday adventure with his sister, Robert snuck downstairs with Aaron's best black shirt and took out the ironing board. He was just finishing his task when he was caught in the act.

"Why are you ironing your shirts at this ti---hang on, that's mine!"

Robert switched off the iron, held up the shirt and smirked. "Come on, Aaron, you can't go on a road trip with only hoodies and crumpled up t-shirts."

"I think you'll find I can. Anyway, that shirt will only get all wrinkled in my bag too."

"It won't, not if you actually wear it."

"Who am I dressing up for? Maybe if you were coming with us..."

"You know I wish I could. Maybe I'm hoping you'll send me some selfies while you're away. You always look quite fit in this shirt."

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "Have you smuggled a tie and suit jacket into my bag as well?"

"Ah, I never thought of that!"

Laughing, Aaron nudged him in the side. "Can't you sack off work so you and Seb can come? I just want a proper family holiday with you."

"I promise we'll plan something soon. It's tempting to tell Joe and Jimmy to get stuffed now I'm just an employee, but we need the money, don't we."

Aaron made a face at him. "Yeah, well, don't let Tate walk all over you. I'll be happy to wipe the smile off his face for you."

"Alright, bodyguard, tone it down a bit." Robert shook his head at him, though a smile was breaking through. "I love you."

Wrapping his arms around the man's waist, Aaron sighed against him. "Gonna miss you. Soppy."

"I'll miss you more. Look, I'd better go and pick up Seb before it gets too late. I'll pick something up for tea on the way back, seeing as we were too distracted earlier."

When they had finished grinning at each other, Aaron kissed him quickly on the cheek. "I'll go. I don't mind, and anyway I won't be seeing him for a few weeks will I, so I'd better top up on my Seb cuddles before we leave."

Robert beamed at him. The bond between his other half and the little boy he'd taken on as his own warmed his heart. "Thank you. I'll ring Liv and ask if she's coming home for her tea."

"Alright. Now keep your nose out of my packing, you. Leave my hoodies alone." 

Robert was rolling his eyes, but then just as Aaron was about to close the front door behind him, Robert heard him call out, "love you too!"

* 

July

"Robert, will you please just come up to bed. And that wasn't a question, it was a polite order. That'll get less and less polite if you keep ignoring me."

Aaron had perfected the hands-on-hips, 'do as you're told' look as he stood in front of the older man. Robert was slumped on one of the lounge settees at the B&B, where they were staying the night until it was certain the Mill was safe to return to.

"I will in a minute."

Bending down in front of him, Aaron took the now cold cup of tea out of Robert's hands and put it on the small table in front of them. At least, he thought briefly, Robert had finally put his phone away after several failed attempts to locate Rebecca. Now he seemed to be overthinking instead, dwelling on the carbon monoxide leak that had almost cost himself and Liv their lives.

"Robert, come on," Aaron tried, gentler this time. He sighed, flopping down to sit next to him now. "You need to get some sleep."

"I don't think I can, Aaron." He was looking at him now, worry and fear in his eyes. "I can't stop thinking about what almost happened. And it must have been my fault."

"'Course it wasn't. I know you, don't I? You would have checked that alarm, so it'll be something else that's caused this. Something no one could have noticed. You and Liv are okay, and you're safe now, yeah? Seb's being fussed over by Lydia, I bet, so we don't need to worry about him. You just need some proper rest."

"I won't be able to sleep."

"Oh, Rob," Aaron stroked his face, watching as Robert closed his eyes at the sensation. It was the first time he'd looked relaxed all day. "Just come back to the room with me and lay down, okay? Lay down and close your eyes and I bet you, you'll drift off."

Robert nodded, just once, letting Aaron take him by the hand and lead him up the stairs. He wasn't convinced his other half was right, but he trusted in him all the same.

*

September

"Robert?"

"Mmm?" Robert was sat on the sofa, cuddling Seb.

"I wanted to ask you something, about the wedding."

The older man looked up at him, and the little boy did the same. "Yeah? 

Aaron sat down beside him. "I want to change my name."

Robert's eyes widened, but then he grinned. "Aw, but I love the name 'Aaron'!"

"Wow," Aaron laughed. "Was that your first dad joke? 'Cos that was terrible, wasn't it Seb, eh?" He made silly faces at the little boy, who gazed up at him transfixed.

"I'm always hilarious, actually. Anyway, tell me again?"

"Okay. So, if I took your name when we got married...would that be alright with you?"

"Alright with me? Are you serious? As if I'd say no. Come here." With one arm still holding Seb, Robert reached out with his other to cup Aaron's cheek and kiss him. "So you want to be Mr Sugden for real, then."

"Well, how about Sugden-Dingle?"

"I'm surprised you're not pushing for Dingle-Sugden, actually."

"Sugden first sounds better, doesn't it? As much as I hate to inflate your ego."

Seb chose that moment to let out a giggle, making Aaron laugh. 

"Are you trying to tell me that Daddy Aaron is funnier than I am?" Robert asked the boy, making shocked faces at him.

Aaron winked at Seb. "He knows I am."

*

November

"I just felt stupid, and embarrassed."

"Don't be daft, If you can't talk to me about the important things then who can you tell?"

"My other husband?" Robert knew Aaron was deflecting the question, but he took the bait and joined in anyway. 

"Bit early to be making those kind of jokes, Aaron. I might start to wonder, you know!"

"Oh yeah, 'cos I'm also a bigamist - the one thing I've never been caught and sent down for!"

The two men stopped bantering, looked at each other and huffed out a laugh. They inched closer to each other on the sofa and Robert looked at Aaron seriously again. "Hey. I wish you had told me you felt like that. I knew something was wrong, but I thought you were distancing yourself because of my reaction to having a baby. I'd no idea you were blaming yourself for even bringing it up."

Aaron avoided Robert's gaze. "Well what kind of idiot suggests having more kids when his husband's just said goodbye to his little boy...our little boy. You didn't even know if we were gonna see Seb again at that point, and I just blurted that out. You must have thought I wanted to replace him."

"No, I never thought that. I was a bit shocked, and then I realised you were grieving for Grace, so I was worried about you. I didn't know if it was what you really wanted, or..."

Aaron was able to look at him now. "I'd been thinking about us having kids for a while, before there was any chance of Rebecca taking Seb away. I didn't just come up with it that day, Robert. But I should have picked a better time to bring it up."

"Why didn't you say anything before, about kids I mean?"

"We've had a lot going on, haven't we? I kept telling myself I'd tell you after this or that was over. Then it just burst out of me like that."

"I'm sorry, you know" Robert said quietly now. "For letting you think I wasn't interested in having children with you. I know I said I just wasn't ready, but I didn't exactly say much to reassure you I wanted them in the future. Today was...unexpected. It suddenly hit me that I didn't know what I was waiting for. That doing this with you is actually all I want."

"What was it about Nicola and Jimmy's 'little horrors' that made you want it though?"

"It was more when I was talking to Nicola, really. She was talking about doing anything for them, and just about family in general. And I just thought, yeah we've got that already; we built a family with Liv, then with Seb too. But I want to do it all over again with you."

Aaron stared into his husband's warm, sincere eyes and couldn't speak. So he pulled him into another hug, and didn't let him go until he was able to form words.

*

December

"You sure you have the time for all this, what with all your scheming?" Aaron asked. Robert gave him a nudge and led the way into yet another shop.

"Christmas shopping for my family with my husband? I've been looking forward to it. And excuse me, you know I promised this stuff with Home Farm wasn't going to change me."

Aaron screwed up his face in distaste at the millions of bath bombs on the shelves in front of them. Who would spent this much money on bathroom products? Oh, right - Robert would. "You actually look forward to Christmas shopping? Weirdo."

"Ah, Aaron. It just wouldn't be the same without you trailing along beside me, moaning about how much of an inconvenience shopping is to your life."

After buying a couple of things for Vic, Robert pointed out a toy shop across the way, grinning at the way his husband's face changed instantly. "This is more like it. Seb's the best one to buy presents for," Aaron announced as they walked inside.

"Hmm. For Seb, or for you?" Robert teased, just as Aaron picked up a large stuffed bear, not dissimilar to the one they'd won together at a theme park a couple of years ago. 

"Shut up." They browsed in silence for a while, finding a few things they knew the little boy would like. Robert seemed quite attached to a little fluffy reindeer, holding it for quite a while until Aaron held out a basket he'd picked up.

"Rob?"

"Yeah," the older man replied absently as he dropped the toy into their basket.

"You okay?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You can talk to me, you know. About missing Seb."

"I know. Where did that come from?"

"I just worry about you. With it being Christmas, and you didn't get to see him on the day last year either, did you? And all this stuff with you and Nicola conning Graham. Is it just a distraction?"

Robert sighed. "Do we have to talk about this now?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to upset you. We can talk about it later if you want. Just thinking out loud I guess."

Seeing Aaron's conflicted look, Robert felt guilty for snapping. "No, I'm sorry. I am missing Seb, but I'm doing alright. I was going to tell you this later, but we're seeing him on Christmas Eve. Rebecca said we can have him for the whole day."

"That's great. I can't wait."

"Me too. Listen, about Home Farm. Maybe it is helping me; focusing on this plan stops me dwelling on all the things I'd usually be doing with Seb at various parts of the day. But that's not why I'm doing it. I want my shares back for Home James, and I want to set us up with enough money for our future. We will get things going with the surrogacy, I promise you."

Aaron gave him a soft smile, putting down the basket full of shopping to put an arm around his husband's shoulder. "Just don't push yourself too hard. It's not all on you, and I'm not having you get yourself arrested. Especially not because of that snob Graham."

"Okay," Robert chuckled. "It doesn't really bother you that we're stitching him up, then?" 

"The bloke who stood by and let Joe take your business from you? No way. Just please, be careful? I know you already said you would, but..."

"I'll be careful. Don't worry, okay? Now come on, let's get this lot paid for." Picking up their shopping, Robert headed for the till. "We've still got to find presents for Liv and your mum." 

"Not more shops!" exclaimed Aaron. "You know they invented online shopping, so we could get it all done in the comfort of our own home."

"But where's the fun in that?"

"Fun?!"

*  
  
Christmas Day

Aaron was the last to arrive downstairs, dressed in blue shirt and matching suit for the latest surprise wedding in the family. Robert, wearing his own blue suit, stood by the foot of their staircase. He took a sharp intake of breath, mesmerised. 

"What?" Aaron asked.

"You," his husband replied. "You look--"

"Yeah, yeah, I know you love me in a suit. Try and control yourself though, will ya? I can make it worth your while when we get back."

Robert laughed softly. "I'll be holding you to that, Mr Sugden."

"That's Sugden-Dingle, I think you'll find."

"You'll always be my Mr Sugden," the older man insisted, looking fondly at him. "But that suit, Aaron...I've dreamt of you like this."

"Alright, don't go overboard."

"No, I mean I've actually dreamt of this."

"It's not that unusual, you dreaming about me in a suit, Robert." Aaron smirked. "At this point, even my mum knows you've got a thing about it."

"Why does Chas...no, forget that, you're killing the mood here. When I say I dreamt of this, I don't just mean the suit. It was you in this exact outfit, even the bow tie which can I just say, I didn't even know you owned."

"Nicked it out of one of your drawers," Aaron explained without missing a beat.

"Didn't even know I still had one. Anyway, so it was you, looking exactly like this and walking down those stairs. And we were stood right here in this spot too."

"So?"

Robert held Aaron by the waist and allowed his eyes a few more seconds to linger over how gorgeous he looked. "So," he elaborated. "It was last Christmas, after my accident and I was having all these crazy dreams in hospital. You were the only thing that made sense."

Thinking back to Christmas day the previous year only reminded Aaron of upsetting memories, and all the heightened emotions of that day. He pressed his face into Robert's shirt, letting it ground him and replace those thoughts with the reassuring fact that they were here and together this Christmas. 

He felt a hand caress the back of his head, then fingers running through his hair. "Hey, don't," Robert said in a quiet voice. "Don't go there, wherever your mind is going right now. I was trying to be romantic."

Aaron pulled back, laughing tearfully. "Yeah? Tell me about the rest of this dream then."

"Well it started off on a loop where I kept bumping into Jimmy, and ended up like my own personal Christmas Carol."

"Which carol?"

"Eh? No, not the songs, Aaron! The film."

"Don't tell me you've never seen 'A Christmas Carol'?" A shrug from Aaron in response. "We'll be fixing that later, you and Liv will love it. The point is, this dream was telling me to sort myself out, like Scrooge in the film. Except I had Val moaning on at me instead." Robert decided to leave out all the morbid details of his nightmare - which was why he kept calling it a dream.

"Val? That's...random."

"Yeah. Anyway, all I'm really saying is, maybe I always knew this was going to happen."

"You always knew I would walk downstairs in a suit?" Aaron joked. Robert sent him a mock glare. 

"Fine, you make fun of me all you like."

"Thank you, I will."

"But I like to think that, even though I'd convinced myself you were better off without me, we were meant to find our way back to each other. So the daft dream was like a premonition."

Aaron had stopped laughing. "I wasn't better off without you."

"Sometimes you were."

"Never. I've got another present for you later that'll prove it."

Robert didn't know what to make of that statement, but before he could comment, Liv was coming downstairs and it was time to head out. Aaron gave him a wink and a kiss on the cheek before they all set off for the wedding.

*

Christmas Night

"I still think ours was a better 'surprise wedding/commitment ceremony'," Robert said as he, Aaron and Liv arrived back at the Mill. 

"The police showed up before you got to the vows, and all my rustic-themed decorations got replaced with random bumblebees and Christmas stuff - and it was February!" Liv protested. 

"Yeah well, it was perfect to me," Aaron insisted, sharing a knowing smile with his husband.

"And you danced with me," Robert added. 

"You know every time you bring that up, the chances of it happening again get less likely."

Liv rolled her eyes at the pair of them. "Right, you two can carry on reminiscing, I'm going upstairs to ring Gabby."

"Come back down after and we'll watch a film," Robert told her. "I need to educate you and your brother on A Christmas Carol."

"Which one?"

"Really? It's a film, Liv. I can't believe you two."

"Sorry, old man," Liv smirked. "Must be before our time."

"It was before my time as well, cheeky," Robert grumbled, feigning annoyance. "Go on, you, off you go." As she disappeared upstairs, he turned to look at Aaron who was trying to hold in his laughter. 

"Sorry," he offered feebly. Composing himself, Aaron started to head for the stairs himself. "You stay here, I'll get your last present before I land myself in the dog house, shall I?"

Two minutes later, he was back watching as Robert unwrapped his gift. It was a book, with ‘Aaron & Robert’ printed on the front. He looked at Aaron in surprise, before turning back to open it. 

The first page held two photos: one from when they had first got together as a proper couple, the other a snap Robert recognised from the holiday to Wales they had taken with Liv not long after. There were captions for each picture. 

*First day putting up with me properly*, Aaron had written next to the first one. It was the day after Gordon had been sent down; Robert knew by the scruff of Aaron's beard. He hadn't shaved for a few days with everything that had been going on, and Robert remembered the look of him as he'd slurped down the milk from his cereal.

Next to the holiday photo were the words: *The things you put up with for me, eh?* Aaron was grinning in the shot, but Robert looked less than impressed. It wasn't that he hadn't enjoyed their trip, but it was freezing and no amount of layers and scarves had helped the situation. He and Liv had formed something of a truce, but they weren't exactly mates yet. It was more about making Aaron happy - and clearly the younger man knew that.

Robert took his gaze off the page to lock eyes with his husband. "You made me a scrapbook?"

"Scrapbook, photo album, whatever you want to call it," Aaron replied, suddenly feeling shy.

"Aaron, this must have taken you ages! Printing off all these photos..." he trailed off, turning to the next page and a picture of the two of them in the pub, seemingly taken from behind the bar by Chas. Robert was looking at Aaron while the latter talked animatedly about something. *Liv saw this one and said you had heart eyes. Soft lad.*

Unbothered about being teased, he leaned over to kiss Aaron, first on the lips, then again on the cheek. "I love it."

"Yeah?"

"Of course I do. It's the best present I've ever had."

Aaron smiled. "I've never really been that into photos, but I like them with you. I even loved going through them to find all these. No one's ever made me as happy as you do. See?"

Aaron reached across to turn another page, where they found a photo that was taken just after their first engagement: Aaron was sat up in his hospital bed, his hair fluffy and unruly. He wasn't long out of the danger zone after that awful crash on the Hotten bypass, but he had the biggest smile on his face. Beside him, Robert had an expression of equal delight. *We said yes!* was written next to it.

Laughing at his mocking of the cheesy post-proposal line everyone was using on social media these days, Robert traced a finger over Aaron's joyful face in the image.

Together, they worked their way through the rest of the book, looking over moments from their first wedding right through to their official big day a few months before. The differences from then to now were clear; while they had both been wrapped up in each other and madly in love at the time, there was a heaviness to those snaps too, knowing everything that was coming. Still, Aaron's caption rang true: *Messed up forever.*

And next to a photo of them on their legal wedding day, having just been declared 'husband and husband', he had written simply: *Forever.* Their eyes were lit up in this one, carefree and content.

"Now who's the soft lad?" Robert asked, voice wobbling.

"Still you, I reckon," Aaron nudged him. Though he had been just as lost in the memories of that day. "One more page, come on."

Going to the final page of the book, Robert saw a familiar family photo of all four of them: Aaron, Liv, Seb and himself. The caption read: *First family photo.* "I love this one."

"Me too," Aaron smiled. "And I love you."

Robert gave him another kiss. "I love you so much."

"And I love our family," Aaron continued. 

"So do I, Mr Sugden-Dingle. And I won't put it at risk ever again, which is why I've pulled out of all that Home Farm stuff." At Robert's words, Aaron raised an eyebrow. "I didn't want to let on earlier in case anyone was listening, but I heard Megan on the phone to Graham before the wedding started."

He'd been getting their drinks when he'd realised the wedding planner was standing behind him, talking in hushed tones about Nicola "thinking she can get away with her con". Seconds later she was giggling much less discreetly, exclaiming "Graham!" in a flirty tone that had Robert making a face and returning to his husband's side.

"So he knows what you've been up to?" Aaron asked, starting to panic. 

"No, no. He's only onto Nicola as far as I can tell. And even if he suspects me, I've been covering my tracks since this whole thing started. I sent her a message telling her I'm out, and that she needs to end this while she still can."

"Right, and what did she say?"

"No idea, I just sent her the warning then switched my phone off."

"Seriously?"

"What? I sent the same text to Jimmy so she'll definitely get the message."

"And you're really prepared to give the whole thing up?"

"Aaron, I don't know what Graham's capable of, and I'm not risking him coming after this family. I'm just sorry I promised you we'd be set to pay for the surrogacy...and now--"

"That doesn't matter," Aaron cut him off. "For once in your life you've saved me the bother of having to talk you out of something," he smirked. Robert rolled his eyes. "Look, I want us to have a baby, but not at the expense of the family we've already got. You're not depriving me, Robert."

"I just...I want to give you everything."

Putting a gentle hand on the back of Robert's neck, Aaron waited for his husband to meet his eye. "Can't you see you already have?" he said, voice soft but firm.

"Really?"

Aaron was reminded of that night in the garage just before they got back together, Robert sounding unsure and full of self-doubt. He wasn't going to have that now. "Yes. Now are you gonna get this daft film ready for when Liv comes back down?"

Robert was back to his confident self in an instant. "It's not daft. It's a Christmas masterpiece." 

"If you say so."

"I just did."

"Okay."

"Are you two done being soppy yet?" Liv called. "I'm ready to see this crap film."

"For the last time, it's a bloody classic!"

Hours later, when they were in bed, Aaron would admit that Robert had been right about 'A Christmas Carol'. "Still can't believe you delayed getting me out of a suit so we could watch it, though."

"Oi, you wanna talk about delays; how about you getting all romantic with my present!"

"Shut up."

"Why don't you shut me up instead?"

Aaron took his cue, shuffling closer and pressing their mouths together.

"Mmm," Robert mumbled into the kiss. "Merry Christmas, Mr Sugden-Dingle."

"And a happy new year," Aaron added, not caring how much of a cliché that was.

"Oh, most definitely."


End file.
